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Personal statement by the photographer Michal ADAMSKI
"One year, one place two deaths.
Christmas Eve 2011
My parents are wishing each other Merry Christmas. Mom is standing heavily on her legs. I’m feeling anxious. We didn’t talk much that day.
Christmas Eve 2012
The last stretch of the road to the hospital leads through the forest. I have taken it every day since March. Right now the road is slippery, melting snow splatters under the wheels. I stop. I go for a short walk down the river. I know it’s over.
Half a year after my mother’s death, my dad passes away. It was a tough year for me. I watched my parents die slowly. I saw their pain, I saw their bodies suffer. I could not ask them anything anymore. I did not know how. I could not.
After some time the only thing I could do was take pictures. Only then did I realise they were departing. Until that moment I had either not noticed or had refused to notice that.
These pictures tell a story of our shared silence and lonely suffering.
I cannot get through the chaos." (Michal ADAMSKI)
Background information
This self-published photo volume 'I can't get through the chaos' by Polish photographer Michal ADAMSKI tells the story of the year he said goodbye to his parents forever. The images, mostly in black & white, show real, tangible death, not his imagination. The book breaths a very personal atmosphere.